exhausted ramblings

so i drove about 1100 miles over thanksgiving weekend. that was about 22 hours on the road. i usually love the long drives because i can think and clear my mind, and pray outloud, and listen to sermons, and sing at the top of my lungs. this time, there was way too much going on in my head and around me to do that and feel rested. so i got home and crashed. i've crashed every night this week after too many hours of going at too fast of a speed.

i have two jobs and it's kicking my butt. 3 cheers for those who work two or three jobs that they hate just to get the bills paid. i love my two jobs and it's still kicking my butt. why? because i can't leave things be. i think about them for hours. for example, 22 hours on the road thinking about files on my desk and emails to answer and people to call and ideas to pioneer.

a friend once told me about a book called "making room for life", i'm starting to wonder what it was about. maybe i should read it. how does one maintain making a living, doing ministry, laundry and dishes, cleaning the house, etc...and still maintain community in life? anyone have an answer? sure, i have friends and i talk to people every day in the midst of this crazy schedule that i have relationships with but that's not living in community and deep relationship. how does that fit into our culture and lifestyles?

i want to be still and remember that He is God and that He will be exalted among the nations. i want to rest in that and do my best with my 24 hours a day and realize that is enough time to do exactly what he wants me to do.

anyway, i'm going to chicago this weekend with my friend rachel. we're going to see the CHRISTmas decor and visit Christina. i will probably get to see my friend Chris and my cousin Melinda during the stay. i'm praying for mental rest and recharging. i'm praying for renewed hope in this holiday season. i'm praying for community.

there you have it, my ramblings of the week...

by the way, Dec 1 is world AIDS day. go to worldvision.org and take the AIDS test- it's really awesome. you'll learn something, i promise.