painful monday at the dentist
satisfying tuesday serving with small group
funny wednesday at the american idol live concert
weary thursday working late
stressful friday ending with me crashing on the couch
reflective saturday evening processing a lot from this week
these are days the Lord made, did i rejoice in them? i don't think i did. i confess i just tried to get through them this week. each day exhausted from the previous. each day hoping to pass the time quickly and move on.
today
i dislike estimates from the car place that have any number of digits, especially 3
i dislike haircuts that are not the best
i dislike this fierce headache i have right now
i dislike feeling lonely
i dislike not being "there"--- you know, the far off place of having a perfect job, perfect walk with God, perfect relationships, all the answers to the worlds problems, etc...
but i was reminded, worshiping with shane & shane tonight, that he is good and his love endures forever. one of the shane's 2 little nephews were sitting a few feet away from me and they stood on the pew and shouted the words to "we love you Jesus" at the top of their lungs along with shane & shane.
We love You, Jesus!
For so many reasons.
For death and life and freedom.
Even now, we love you.
We love You, Jesus!
In and out of seasons.
In valleys and on top of mountains.
Even now, can we sing.
it was such a sweet moment. totally uninhibited praises ringing from their lips.
on the other hand, i was sitting there thinking about life and jobs and disappointment and hopes and the massive headache sitting square over my eyes. i was wanting to worship, and i was worshipping at some level in my spirit, but i wasn't throwing off everything and casting my cares on him in order to praise him uninhibited. (work with me here, i know i didn't know those kids hearts but their song was so sweet)
a good friend said to me a few weeks ago that some of us (me) are like squirmy kids in God's arms. like i want to keep "working" for him, when all he wants to do is hold me sometimes. it's not my activity that pleases him, it's my heart and my relationship with him. that comment might not make sense out of the context of that conversation, but i hope it does.
i want to rejoice in each day, trusting that his mercies are new every morning, and living in gratitude that he has made the day. i want to honor him by my heart posture. i want to cease striving, and set my eyes on him. i want to shout "i love you Jesus" every day in all i do.
When satan tempts me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because a sinless Savior died
my sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me
Hallelujah
Praise the One Risen Son of God.
thanks for reading
1 comment:
I am an obvious squirmer, too.
And, while we're on the topic, you got a bad haircut? I am thinking of getting a major one on Tuesday- shoulder length, even.
Anyway. Good one. Keep writing, I like reading. I might call you tomorrow for keep-in-touch Sunday because I have been thinking about you all week in these crazy health and economics in developing countries classes- nutrition, disease, hunger. You would think it's so interesting- i should send you the link to the guy's website with notes. I just sit there alone having conversations with myself about how interesting it all is...
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